My name is Siggi Bjarnason, and I am the owner of Cuddle Geek and a professional cuddler. I offer professional cuddling in the greater Seattle area, including but not limited to Bellevue, Kirkland, Redmond, and Renton. More on that on other pages. Here let us talk about cuddling.
Are you getting your daily recommended dose of touch? With today’s touch-deprived society, chances are high that you are not. It seems that touch in today’s culture is taboo as if all touching must be sexual and, therefore, evil.
Well, I’m here to state that non-sexual platonic touch does exist, and not only is it great, but it is also necessary. Just like food is necessary to sustain life, so is touch. If you aren’t getting your required dose of touch, I call that being touch starved. Everyone is different and has different needs, touch is no different. Because everyone is different everyone has a different level of touch they require. It is important to keep in mind there is no right or wrong level of touch. One should never be ashamed of the level of touch they need, whether they require a very little or very high level of touch, regardless of what society wants you to believe, your needs are 100% valid. Your needs are your needs, and there is absolutely nothing wrong or shameful with that.
Societies messaging that all touch is sexual and sexual promiscuity is all sorts of bad and evil can be very counterproductive and a bit of self-fulfilling prophecy. It also causes a lot of unnecessary tension and stress when interacting with other folks, especially in male/female interactions. First of it is human nature to be attracted to things that are illicit. Second equating sex and touch lead folks who are only seeking touch to be sexually promiscuous.
This is problematic on so many levels. Let me start by going on the record that the assertion by the society that touch and sex always go together is based on really bad fallacies. To start with most touch is non-sexual, and sexual promiscuity is a wonderful thing when done safely and consensually.
Since most touch is non-sexual, sex does not provide much for those seeking to fill their need for touch. Therefore those that seek sex to fulfill their need for touch leave unfilled, and remaining touch starved. As a society, we need to get better at communicating what we want. Are we after non-sexual touch like hugging and cuddling, or do we want sex, or do we want both? We need to reject society’s idea that these always go together.
The idea that cuddling is always sexual is so pervasive that finding stock photos that showed people cuddling without having a sexual tone was extremely challenging. The options are: cuddling animals, cuddling babies or lovey-dovey couples making out. I find this very sad.
Being touch starved can lead to a multitude of problems, both physically and mentally. Do a quick web search for something along the lines of “benefit of cuddling,” and you’ll see various articles go into all sorts of details. You’ll find articles listing benefits such as boosting the immune system, lowering blood pressure, lowering stress, lowering depression, lessening social anxiety, etc., etc.
It is well documented and acknowledged even by medical professionals, that touch is essential to newborns. What baffles me is why we think we grow out of this need as I’ve seen nothing to suggest that. I believe it is just as important to adults as it is to babies.
Now how do you get your required level of touching, especially if you don’t have a partner or your partner has different needs from you. Let me introduce you to the concepts of cuddle parties and professional cuddlers.
These are both ways for you to fill up your touch tank, so to speak through consensual platonic (i.e., non-sexual) touch and cuddling.
Cuddle Parties is where someone organizes for a group of people to get together for the expressed purpose of cuddling. This is the lowest cost option and offers to cuddle with multiple people at the same time or in the same evening. The scheduling is very fixed and sometimes infrequent. You also have to take your turn and be both a giver and a receiver. For more details on this option check out http://www.cuddleparty.com/ You can also find other options if you do some web searches applicable to your area. I participate in as many cuddle parties in the Seattle area as I can fit into my schedule. Location isn’t always very convenient with this option. I live in Bellevue and I have to go over to Seattle for cuddle parties, as the only cuddle parties in the entire Seattle metro area if not the state are in the same neighborhood in Seattle.
Professional cuddling is one on one cuddling at a mutually agreed upon time and location and thus offers you a more concentrated time and more flexibility in scheduling and locations. There are multiple professional cuddlers all over the Seattle Metro area, in cities like Bellevue, Kirkland, Bothell, Redmond, Renton, Tukwilla, Woodinville, etc. Many of them will also come to you if that is where you prefer to cuddle. You book specific time with a specific cuddler. This time is dedicated to you and is all about you. With professional cuddling, you have someone that can guide you through various exercises or let you take the lead. While these are more focused and flexible, they will end up costing you significantly more.
I was introduced to the idea of cuddle parties by the very first professional cuddler that I found through a site called Cuddlist. Initially, I was intimidated by the idea of a cuddle party as I tend to be very shy and reserved during parties, mixers and the like. I tend to prefer one on one interactions so professional cuddling seemed to be a better fit for me. It took me a solid year to get up the nerve to try a cuddle party. Once I did I instantly fell in love with it. The people there are very open and friendly and most are in the same boat as being shyer and more reserved. Some told me this was their only social outlet.
For both options, strict adherence to everyone’s consent is mandatory, as well as excellent hygiene on everyone’s part. Alcohol, weed, and other mind-altering substances are a terrible combination with this type of cuddle sessions. Furthermore, if you are under the weather or have anything that can be spread via simple touch or airborne, you better seek a medical profession and get that taken care of first.
This leads to a bit of disclaimer, while cuddling has a wide-ranging benefit both mentally and physically, it is not a substitute for treatments by a licensed medical or mental health professionals. Also, know that professional cuddlers are not licensed nor regulated by any governmental body, and there is no standard for training or certifications. I would argue that none are needed. I believe that we all instinctively know how to touch and cuddle. We have to allow ourselves to tap into those instincts and ditch the shame that society may have programmed us with. We need to train ourselves in respecting each other boundaries and let ourselves want to be touched. These are all things that a professional cuddler like myself can help you work on. More details on the session page. Feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with any questions you may have.